"Been what?" There's a lot of words that could fill that gap. Big and sad? He racks his brain, throwing out suggestions. "Married? Sober? A father? A politician?"

Selfish? Irresponsible? Careless with other people's feelings? He could keep going. He's pretty self-aware about his problems! He's just... not all that great at actually doing something about them. Running and hiding from his flaws is much easier and safer than actually trying to work on them.